In 2021, following his pleading guilty to charges related to the sexual abuse of two 14-15 year old boys he met on Grindr, Aaron Weinreb, a Five Towns based former OB/GYN, solicited letters of many in the Far Rockaway and Five Towns communities on his behalf for sentencing. Over 100 letters were written for him, many by prominent rabbonim, including Rabbi Yaakov Bender and Rabbi Moshe Weinberger, and fellow doctors, pleading for leniency, citing his years of good deeds as a doctor and philanthropist, and extolling his efforts at doing teshuva for his crimes. He was sentenced to 54 months in prison, and served a little over three years.

After ZA’AKAH published the letters written by the rabbonim and doctors in 2024, Rabbi Moshe Weinberger apologized for writing his letter in a video posted by Amudim. Following his apology, ZA’AKAH was contacted by the parents of one of Weinreb’s victims, expressing frustration at the lack of accountability for those who wrote letters for and supported Weinreb through his case and sentencing. They have decided to speak out in the hope that by offering their experience of this ordeal they can help the community understand what it’s like when the victims and their families see the man who abused their child getting so much public support.

Here is their letter:

Dear Rabbonim, community leaders, and fellow parents:

When one of our own was publicly accused of sexual crimes against our children, our rabbis, organizations, and professionals rallied around him, writing letters on his behalf which talked about his good deeds and his standing in our community. Because he sexually preyed on children, however, his victims are faceless and nameless for their own protection and, in many cases, are ashamed to come forward. As a people, we have always valued tzniut, so we do not name them. Our rabbinim, and our community at large, must realize that his victims, most of whom remain nameless for their own tzniut, are no less important and no less a part of our community.

Our son grew up among you, in yeshivas, surrounded by rabbonim, teachers, leaders, and professionals we trusted. At 15, he was preyed upon by one of them—a respected doctor and member of our community. We ourselves were unaware of what had happened to our son until the FBI and police showed up at our door.

This depraved predator, who raped our son just before Rosh Hashana, pleaded guilty as part of a plea bargain in exchange for a sentence within a certain range. We were told that we could write pre-sentencing letters to the judge, and in those letters we poured out our hearts. The judge postponed the sentencing, and we believed that our letters were being seriously considered. We were shocked and dismayed when he was sentenced to even less than the minimum term he had bargained for, with the judge specifically referring to the letters when handing down a very lenient sentence.

We recently learned that our letters had been overwhelmed by dozens of rabbonim and other members of our community who had written letters on his behalf. We feel betrayed by the institutions and individuals who prioritized money and social status over the truth. This predator received an even shorter sentence than he had bargained for, supported by letters from leaders we once respected and revered. They saw only the facade that this person presented, not the side of him that he showed our son in the worst possible way. In contrast, because his victims remain anonymous for the sake of their own protection and tzniut, the rabbonim could not see them as victims. We, being nogeia b’davar, were our son’s only advocates. Our letters, the only ones which were written with real firsthand knowledge of the damage which  had truly been done to the neshamot of his victims, were outnumbered. The rabbonim and others who wrote those letters did not know our son and his beautiful neshama, or how it was forever lessened and pushed away from yiddishkeit by his actions.  

We were particularly disgusted to see letters written by rabbonim whom we once respected, whom we now want nothing to do with, and whose institutions we will not support and no longer want to set foot in. Recently Rabbi Weinberger sent a beautiful and heartfelt apology over instagram. It warmed our hearts, and gave us a glimmer of hope that others would follow suit. We are still waiting. 

Our son is still healing, but the pain of our community’s betrayal remains. While his abuser has been welcomed in shuls and yeshivas, our son now dreads stepping into such places.  

Part of teshuva is trying to mitigate the harm that one has caused. We believe that our son and the other victim who came forward are just the tip of the iceberg, and there are others out there who have yet to come forward. To those rabbonim who have charata, who feel they were misled and used to persuade the judge to give this man a more lenient sentence that he deserved, you can encourage his other victims in your kehilot to come forward so that he can be held to account for those crimes as well. To others hurt by this man or others like him, we urge you to speak out. True community demands accountability, courage, and the protection of our most vulnerable, even if we do not know their names.

A disappointed family